My dad recently asked me what love is. It was a Friday night, and I was halfway through a glass of wine. As I took another sip and my mind flooded with thoughts of the one I love the most, the song that has become ours began to play through my headphones. I would say how coincidental, but he would tell me coincidences don’t exist– moments do.
So what is love? Love is putting your someone else’s needs above your own. It is literally, yes, literally feeling your heart skip a beat at the sight of the one you love. It is enjoying one another’s company regardless of what you are doing. It is loving them on their best days, and loving them harder on their worst– especially in times of self-doubt. It is midnight dances in the kitchen to no music, and laughing when you step on each others toes. It is holding each other so close, but never quite close enough. It is feeling at home when you are with them. It is patience, communication, loyalty, trust, support, and never forgetting to have fun, because your person is your best friend. It is never going to bed upset at one another, and staying up as long as it takes to work through whatever may be the issue and coming out stronger in the end. It is being so crazy for each other that your friends say you are “disgusting.” It is an unconditional love that despite how infuriated, annoyed, or flustered you are with them, you know those feelings are fleeting, but your love is unfailing.
Love is something that everyone searches for– it is something that people want to have, but don’t know what to do when they have it. It is much too common to run in fear at the first problem to arise, either because of not knowing how to work through problems, or not caring to work it out. How often do I see couples that look completely drained of one another? More often than I wish to. No, not the kind of silence between them because they are comfortable with that silence between them, but the kind of silence where the discomfort can be seen in their eyes. I frequently look at elderly couples who are noticeably head over heels for each other, and I often think to myself how they have lasted 50+ years together. I can guarantee that the reason is that they know what is important. What does that mean? They are able to communicate– ah, there is that word again. Yes, they know how to communicate and work through problems. Most importantly, however, they remember to always have fun. That may sound naive to some, but is it? Think about it, when you are old and gray, being able to light-heartedly make fun of the silly way your loved one eats and gets food out of his teeth and laugh about it will keep your forever young.
So, that is what love is to me. Its not always easy, but it sure is beautiful and undeniably rare. I am a firm believer that love will conquer all, and it will.
I was once told that if you have not done absolutely EVERYTHING possible, you have no reason to leave– scratch that, to quit.
I’m not a quitter, are you?
Photo credit: Mitchell Martin Photography